Last week on my blog, I shared about my own experience with pregnancy loss.
I did this, in part, as a way to bring awareness to the countless women who have suffered from the loss of a child during pregnancy. Often times, in silence.
And, in part, because I have not openly shared my own story before now.
It has taken me years to talk about the details of my miscarriage, but I’m glad that I finally have. I’ve found there is something truly beautiful and healing that takes place in the process.
If you’d like to read my personal story, you can do so here.
With October being recognized, world-wide, as the National Pregnancy & Infant Loss awareness month, I wanted to dedicate this month to helping women speak out about their own stories of loss.
The purpose in writing the article below is to show you a little glimpse into the heart of one who is grieving a life that has ended too soon. What they feel, what is helpful, what is hurtful, what others can do to show they care.
When someone loses a baby, there are typically so many questions that follow. Not only for the grieving parents, but also for those who love the grieving, and want to offer them the best support possible.
My hope is that this will be a helpful guide for those who are suffering the heartache of loss, as well as those who are standing in the trenches with those who grieve.
“Some friends sent me flowers, and that really helped me. Just that they acknowledged it as a legitimate loss helped. The texts and checking in and letting me know they were thinking of me. Even weeks after the loss. Just the consistent checking in helped me a lot.” – Kate
“Expressions of sympathy and sorrow. That’s it. Just the words “I’m so sorry.” Nothing more was needed or wanted at the time. Also, (although probably different for many) we appreciated life moving on, and people not dwelling on what we were going through. Laughing eased our pain in the moment, and talking about other things took our minds off what my body was in the process of doing.” – Laney
“My husband and I were in such shock after the discovery of our miscarriage. The most helpful and comforting thing anyone said, came from him. He told me that He was sorry that I lost my baby.” – Erin
“One of the things that meant so much to me was when people didn’t ask me if I needed anything done (say, around the house or the text “If you need anything, just let me know!” Ughhh … ), they just told me they would like to come over and help clean my house for me or cook me dinner. I admire and cherish my friends that thought outside of the box to show me love. Also, when friends would come over and spend time with me so I wasn’t alone; anxiety was SO real back in the first few months and I absolutely hated being by myself. It took me a couple of months to even step foot into my own apartment again.” –Stacy
“The most helpful thing for me was knowing how many women “came out of the wood work” that had gone through the same thing I did. One of the nurses at the hospital, the woman working at the funeral home, and acquaintances, all had told me about their stories. Some of their losses were horrific compared to mine, but how can I really compare a loss?” – Robin